Two Bits

I had a dream three nights ago that it has taken until now to process.

   It was a dream filled with amorphous anxiety - numerous details escape me but two fine points of the night remain - one moment I remember: I'm swept out to sea from the deck of a ship.  I'm in a fur coat, for some reason (apparently I have hoes to choke in my dreams).  I sink below the water, the coat welling up above me, and I watch the sky disappear in a blobs of brick red fox pelt and aquamarine murk.
   Another dream: same night, same anxiet - Apparently I am able to cast magic spells?  Thanks to Alden for planting the seed of Sorcery in my subconscious, because it makes good dream fuel.  That's a topic for an other entry because, unfortunately, in this part of the dream I had no choice in which spell I cast.  I felt the power in my fingers, but I needed to conjure water to put out a fire and all I could manage was a fruit jam of some kind.  I attempted again and again different strengths and purpose of spell but to no avail.

   For the next two days, stress dandruff rained from my scalp, stress pimples broke out on my forehead, and stress bears roamed the streets of Brooklyn in search of honey.  These are all known symptoms of extended Cotler stress bubbling under the surface.  Except for the bears.  They just roam freely here.

   Feeling out of control, powerless, stressed, angry, and frustrated, I had to do something.  So, Chetta shaved my head:

Before

After

Hasid

Metal Rocker Larg Ulmditch

Baby Aaron is back.

   As of late, life has seemed to be a lesson in recognizing and targeting positive steps directly in my path.  I feel powerless, so I take control over a symbolically significant but temporary aspect of my life.
   Giving myself a toehold on feeling in control, the next steps become clear - focus on drum lessons and picking up more students.  Focus on recording: writing drum parts for local musicians' solo, remix and soundtrack projects.  These two areas of music are a challenge in keeping steady time, listening and explaining rhythms as well as working technique up to a professional level.  They both, in theory, allow for eventual income.  Music AND income??  Perhaps.
   Making after hourz music with the boys in the back of the coffee shop gives a sandbox to exercise all those skills as they grow.  Creatively, life is pretty harmonious right now.

   On the other hand, money is tight.  If you didn't assume as much, working full time at a coffee shop does not break the bank.  So the search for bar work continues.  That's another entry for another day.  In the mean time, keeping an eye or two on a cloud of end goals, the only way to make the journey is one step at a time.